Will I be okay with that

Today I got to hang out with a friend of mine and I got to catch her up on all things IVF in my life. In our discussion I had mentioned something along the lines that I only get two more transfer, that insurance will only pay for two more. She said something like – but won’t you keep going afterwards. I initially said no. IVF is expensive and it would take me a year or so to save up that kind of money.

But I got to thinking as the day went on. If after the three attempts insurance will pay, and I don’t get pregnant, will that be it? Will I not try anymore? Will I be okay with that?

I’ve always wanted to be a mother. How could I be okay with that not happening? I’m not sure I can be.

So now I’m scared again. My new cycle of injections is coming up on the 21st and I’m so scared this may never happen for me. If it doesn’t work on the second transfer, would I be okay with using an egg donor? It terrifies me to think about that just yet.

I don’t know how many times I need to pray. Or how many times I can wish on a star. When will it be my time to be a mother?


105 today and no A/C

I arrived home last night anticipating a nice and relaxing evening. I walk up the stairs of my split foyer and realized it seemed really hot. It’s usually a bit warmer on the second floor than the basement level but something didn’t seem right. I walk over to check the thermostat and it was reading 83 degrees. WTH!?!

I turned off the thermostat, waited a few minutes, and turned it back on. All it would do is run the fan, so basically blowing around warm air.

I head downstairs to the breaker box and flip the switch labeled furnace/A/C, waited and turned back on. Same thing. Now I’m getting worried.

I put my shoes back on and head outside and walk around the side of the house where the A/C unit sits. Nothing. The blades are moving. I kick it a few times and still nothing.  I flip the breaker box again, flip it back on, and walked outside again. Same thing. Not coming on.

I located my home warranty and go online to fill out the work order form. I sit in the living room hoping by a small miracle that someone was working late and would call me. Nope. I sat there for a while but was sweating. I couldn’t take it anymore.

The dogs and I headed down to my mom’s living room. It’s still warm down there but not as bad so we turned on the TV and hung out. I kept the lights out since they could create more heat.

Bare in mind, yesterday with the heat index, it got to 109 degrees. Today it will be 105.

When I got to work this morning I called them and got their voicemail. I left a message. About an hour later I emailed them. Not a peep. It’s now almost noon.

I called my home warranty and she said they have 48 hours to reply. Then she put me on hold and she got in touch with the contractor who said he is just about to call me. We’ll see.

The contractor can’t see me until Saturday morning. Guess I’ll have to take it. I did call the home warranty company to see if there are any other contractors that could do it sooner but two could see me on Sunday and one could see me next week. So I think Saturday is the better deal even if it still sucks.

I’ll live, I know, I’ll just be sticky. 🙂

Time management

Using Outlook is something that I learned several years ago when I worked at Under Armour but I didn’t take with me the manual I received during training. I remember that training class, which was taught by and outside organization, was THE BEST training I’ve ever participated in.

So, I’ve found a new system. I searched amazon.com and found a book that received really great reviews. The name of it is Control Your Day and the premise behind this is to get away from using folders to store your email but instead assign categories to your emails.

The author walks you through how to set things up in Outlook to be automated, which I love. I still getting rid of all my project folders but so far I’m loving it. This new system will keep my inbox clean and help me control my day and not spend hours answering emails and then organizing them.

Once I have used this system for a while, and if anyone is interested, I’d love to share some tutorials.

Can’t wait to go to work tomorrow to finish setting up my Outlook! Crazy, I know!

9dp3dt – AF Symptoms

9This morning when I woke up, I had AF-type of cramps, lower back pain, and abdominal tightness. My first thought was, oh crap, am I about to start. I have an app on my phone that tracks my periods and according to it AF should arrive today. I went to work and researched.

I read that two weeks from trigger is about when your period arrives. I triggered two weeks ago tonight (or tomorrow at 12:30am). So now I get to wonder if AF will rear her ugly head tomorrow or another time this week.

I saw this week because I wonder if the injections + the trigger can change the cycle somewhat. Someone told me that the progesterone suppositories can also delay AF.

This is all very confusing to read. I know, I know, I shouldn’t read into every little thing but honestly, there’s no way not to. I’m sure others do it more or less than I do.

Pray AF doesn’t visit me. 🙂

6dp3dt – No Symptoms Anymore


Since the day after the transfer, I have woken up with cramps, back ache, and sore boobs. Not today. That was the first thing I noticed. I’m not really bummed yet but I did notice. I’ve read through forums and this seems normal so I am not reading too much into it.

5dp3dt – hot, light-headed, shakes, lower back pain, mild cramps, sore boobs

6dp3dt – super mild cramps, no sore boobs, no more bloating, no pulling, no twinges.

Take a Poll! – Age Difference



When it comes to dating, does age matter? If everything between you is near perfect, should you not move forward because of the age difference? I’ve heard both sides of the argument but would really like to hear from others.  When you meet someone and you find out there age, what age difference do you say absolutely no to.? Take the poll below!




I want to write a childrens book…

bigstock_story_2226743But have no idea where to start. I don’t have kids (yet) so I have no clue what topics need to be written. But I think it would be such a wonderful accomplishment to write a book and actually have people want to buy it. My ultimate goal is to write a novel but that is far in the future for me. Baby steps!