It’s Time to Say Goodbye to a Furry Family Member

Seventeen years ago, I had to put my cat down due to some medical complications. Three days later I went and bought a kitten and named him Sebastian. He was six weeks old. He was mostly white with bright blue eyes. As he grew, some color started to develop. The vet later told me he was an American Siamese – flame tip. His ears and tail started turning a bit red/orange.

Today he is 17, as of March 2014. For the last few years he’s been sick. He was diagnosed with kidney disease and hyperthyroidism. We, the vet and I, tried many different things. Everything made him feel worse. I eventually stopped all treatment and wanted to let him live out the rest of his life with a better quality than when he was on medications that made him sick and his fur fall out or have him eat foods that he would constantly throw right back up.

The last few days I’ve noticed he isn’t eating much anymore. He eats a little but not much. Last time I weighed him, he was just under 10lbs. Back in the healthy days he was around 22-24lbs. He’s restless, he twitches, he talks a lot, pees a ton, drinks even more, and his eyes are sunken in. I look at him now and can’t believe how he looks. When you go to pet him it’s like petting a skeleton, as he has no muscle or meat on him anymore.

So we cuddled last night and he was purring away. I thought wouldn’t it be so much nicer if I can be with him, getting him to purr, while they put him to sleep? Wouldn’t it be nice for him to be somewhat happy as his last thought? My fear is that I will come home from work one day to find out he died alone. He deserves more, right?

But just the thought of doing this makes me cry…like while I’m writing this, tears are running down my face. How do I bring myself to do this?


10dp3dt – Was that some spotting?

day-10Woke up and rolled over, feeling some AF-like cramps and some more lower back pain. Nothing else though. It’s funny that my normal morning routine now involves peeing on a stick, but it does. This morning was another negative. Most of today felt pretty normal. Very little cramps or if they were there, they didn’t last long.

I’m extra weepy today only because I’ve been trying to figure out when is an appropriate time to put my cat down. He’s 17 years old and I’ve had him since he was six weeks old – he could fit in my hand. For the last few years he’s been sick: kidney disease and hyperthyroidism. The vet and I have tried many different foods, medication, and natural remedies that either made him throw up more or he just wouldn’t eat. I told the vet NO MORE! The vet fought me on this but he wasn’t happy throwing up every single time he ate this terrible food. We tried medication that also made him sick and trying to get his thyroid balanced took many blood work appointments and adjusting of his meds. We tried for at least two years. The last year he was doing much better. Eating normal, peeing somewhat normal…until recently.

The last month or so he has been throwing up more and he is peeing a half a gallon each time. And it’s a thicker consistency which makes you need a dirt shovel to scoop it out. I got to thinking that maybe it’s time to put him down while he’s still somewhat happy instead of either coming home to find that he died alone and maybe in some pain. I’ve heard and read that once kidney failure happens, it’s fast. I don’t want him to be alone.

And of course now I’m crying again…ugh!

Anyway, back to the topic at hand…I went to the bathroom tonight and I think there was the tiniest hint of red in my pantyliner (sorry, TMI), so I’m not sure if I should be worried or if that’s a good thing. I’ve read both ways.

Six more days until my beta. Come on Monday!

“No Poo” Movement

Have you heard about this? There is a movement to not shampoo your hair very often. Some people might only shampoo once a week, twice a month, or even once a month. Now when I read this I was concerned that as a society, we would stink but…you do actually continue to wash your hair but either with just water or some people are making their own natural shampoo – 1 part baking soda + 3 parts water.

I’m curious. People say that is improves your hair quality x 100. They say that the first 30 days are the hardest. Hair gets oily, stringy, matted and whatever else happens. But once you get past that first 30 days, your hair is soft and manageable!

So being the researcher that I am, I looked into the chemical used in shampoo and they are really damaging to the hair. Maybe not all shampoo and probably not all ingredients used but enough to make me wonder.

Is anyone currently active in this movement?

Has anyone tried this before? What happened?

Anyone up for the challenge with me? I’ll be honest, I’ll have to start small and only shampoo once a week but it’s a start, right?

4dp3dt = Seven


What does 4dp3dt mean? 4 days past 3 day transfer. Seven days since they were fertilized!!!

I’m doing good. I think. I of course continue to research every little twinge, cramp, or pull and even this morning I googled ‘4dp3dt symptoms’. I read so many wonderful stories but in all honestly, I think what I’m feeling is all from the Endometrin. Endo is mean and tends to give the same symptoms of implantation and pregnancy. See why I don’t like Endo?

I woke up a couple of times early morning with terrible lower back pain and cramping. The cramping didn’t wake me up as it wasn’t that intense but once awake I noticed it. I kept flip flopping to either my left side or my right side. I couldn’t get comfortable. I can’t sleep on my stomach because of my neck issues. It sucked.

I’m also bloated. Again I’m sure it’s Endo. My abdominal feels tight, probably due to the bloating feeling.

I kept busy last night. My new DVR from Verizon arrived so I had to get that hooked back up. Then I played with my new photo scanner. It’s very small and transportable and scans very quickly and at a good resolution. I probably scanned almost 200 photos while watching TV.

I try to keep busy. At home and at work. Even when I’m busy, I’m thinking. So it’s going to be a long 2ww.

She was listening

bellA couple of blogs ago, I posted about training my new pup to ring a bell when she wanted to go outside. I simply gave up on the training and forgot about the bell hanging by the door.

In the last month, we’ve had a lot of periodical snow storms, leaving us with a few inches of snow each time. As that snow melts, it makes my backyard into a mushy, swampy, muddy play area. I don’t let the pups out when the yard is like that for obvious reasons – I don’t like mud tracked inside my house!

Kona has graduated to young adult and has learned to entertain herself inside. She now doesn’t rely on expending energy ONLY outdoors. Thank God!

No joke! The other day I’m sitting on the couch watching TV and I hear the bell ringing. My head jerks to the left and there she is standing by the bell, looking right at me. She comes trotting over as I excitedly say “do you want to go outside?” and she jumps for joy and turns in circles. We head over and I let them both out.

After all these months I’ve discovered that she was actually paying attention during her lessons, but since we were going out every couple of hours anyway, she never had the need to ring the bell, until now.

Now she doesn’t stop.

Now I must figure out how to teach her to only ring the bell when she NEEDS to go out, not every single time her little heart wants to go out. I try to ignore her but hate to send any wrong signals when she has done so well with ringing the bell. I wonder if she’ll figure this out.

Proud furmomma. 🙂