This Changes Everything

Over the past few weeks I’ve been stressing about this whole fundraiser, but I still chugged away at sending out emails here and there when I had time. It’s hard. Awkward. Uncomfortable. I was going down a list I made of everyone I know.

One day last week, in the middle of a high stress project I was working on, my manager comes over to my desk and wants to talk to me. I get up and follow him, however we didn’t go to his office, we went into our Director’s office. So now I’m thinking, “OMG, what did I do wrong on this project?” “Did someone say something?” “Did I say something in an email that was taken out of context?”. The thoughts were flying through my mind.

My manager closes the door and I said “ah oh”. My Director said “no ah oh”. We all sat down. My director then begins to tell me that my manager brought him my fundraiser email. I instantly started sweating and thought “oh no, I’m getting in trouble for sending my manager my fundraiser website!”. Panic started to set in. He continues to go on. He then asks me what I know about our health benefits. I told him what I knew and what I found our recently.

He said that when my manager told him about my fundraiser story, he then charged upstairs to our HR department and told them my story. She then proceeded to call at our corporate office’s HR department and they confirmed what she had thought.

You ready?

Our company health insurance has an exception policy written in. The exception states that if ANYONE has at least one failed insemination attempt, that moves me to a covered status. So basically that means that my insurance will cover my IVF up to a certain amount. HOLY CRAP!

I sat there, watching my directors lips moving and hearing what he was saying. But honestly it was like I was an outer body experience. He finished and I still sat there. Staring at him. I said “wait, wait, what are you telling me?” I was shocked, speechless, dumbfounded, nervous, happy, excited, hesitant.

I finally go back to my desk and sat there trembling. I had to tell someone or I might bust at the seams. I pulled a coworker in to a private room to tell her. She was thrilled and hugged me a few times. I then told my mom. But I didn’t want to tell everyone until I heard it from HR myself. I was, and still am, waiting for that other shoe to drop.

I confirmed with my HR that what I was told was true – the next day. I then went about telling everyone. It’s still not 100% approved. Last week I contacted my nurse and she faxed me over some medical history to provide the insurance. I emailed that to HR last Friday.

Today I emailed HR to make sure they received it. They informed me that they sent it to their contact at the insurance and we hope to hear something later this week. It might end up being a back and forth situation where I have to keep getting information, but I’ll do what I have to do.

Message of this story: You never know what someone can do to help. Share with everyone. All it takes is your story landing in the right person’s lap to make a difference. And what a difference this has made.

I never thought in a million years that something like this would happen. It is renewing my faith and giving me some hope.

Feeling defeated

Today I’m feeling defeated. If I sat here and thought about all of this long enough, I could just cry. I’ve had some wonderful friends and coworkers offer fundraising suggestions, and they all sound great. But what if none of them work? What if I can’t get the money needed for IVF?

No one should have to feel this way. No one should have to struggle this much to have a child when there are some who can’t afford them, yet they keep having them. It’s not fair.

I started a fundraising website at GiveForward. It’s a crowd funding type of site. It’s global so it should reach more people. I’ve had about 120 people view my page, but yet only four people have donated. I hate to say only four people because I truly love those who have donated. I’m having a terrible time understanding why people can’t even donate $5 or $10. I know that sounds terrible, but these are friends and family.

Some how, if I ever get through this and have my miracle baby, I’d like to create a foundation or something like it that will help other couples and single women financially fund their IUIs and IVFs. I would love to be able to pay this forward and help others. But first I have to get it to work for myself, otherwise, how will I raise the money for others.

Donation Page

Next steps

I know it’s been a few days since I said my appointment to meet with my doctor was, but I needed a little bit of time to process everything that I was told.

  • IVF is the next step
  • ICSI
  • Assisted hatching – wait what?
  • Highest does of meds – wasn’t ready for that.
  • Doesn’t want me waiting more than six months
  • Pretty positive I won’t have any viable embries to freeze
  • Cost is higher than I had planned (because of ICSI and assisted hatching + meds)

So I didn’t leave her office in tears but I was overwhelmed and worried. I’m still not sure how I will do this. Sometimes I think that maybe since it’s so hard for me to make this happen, that I’m not supposed to be a mom. Of course, that hurts. Then I lift myself back up and think that I can do this (still not sure how) and I will figure this all out.

I keep reading other people’s success stories and so far 98% of them happened on the first try. I’d like to think the same for me but I didn’t hear the words from the doctor “I can’t guarantee it but I think this will happen the first try”. Then I could just pay for the one time and be done with it. But since I didn’t hear those words, I think in order for me to not feel too stressed is to do the multi-cycle discount option. But then I am overpaying if it does happen the first time.

What to do, what to do?

If you can and would like to donate, you can find my page here:

Fundraising….take 2…action!

I’ve explored this idea when I was in the middle of an international adoption. Now I’m back, but this time it’s to help me financially with moving forward with IVF. I’ve had three failed IUIs and now the next steps will most likely be IVF. I’m okay with that except for a few things and the main one is the cost. I have most of the cost of the actual procedure, however the fertility medications can range from $3-$8k.

I’ve applied for a discount program and I’m awaiting their decision on what my discount will be – please pray it’s a good discount. 🙂

I know I don’t have that many people following me and even if I had a bunch of strangers interested in my story, why would you help me out? You could be faced with similar financial issues so why help me? Well I’m still posting it on here just in case someone has the means to help out. Remember…everything counts.


Any amount is never too small and everything is greatly appreciated. You’ll be taking part in making my greatest wish come true – becoming a mother!