Trying Again…

I owe everyone an update since my last blog. I blogged about a friend offering to be the donor. Well I decided not to go that route. It’s nothing against him but more on what I felt was right for me. He lives 1200 miles away. If I were to have a friend donor, I’d want him to be local, so he can be part of the child’s life. Not sure my friend understands but honestly that’s not my problem. I appreciate the offer though.

I’m in the middle of IVF #2. I’m on a different protocol – Antagonist. The way the doctor explains it is that in the aggressive approach, there are two protocols. I did the first one before, so this time we are trying the second protocol. Basically in a nutshell, this one doesn’t suppress my ovaries the entire time. I use the stimulating injections and then when the follicles reach 14mm, I add in another injection that suppresses ovulation.

My doctor visit this past Sunday showed that I had one follicle at 12mm, so they had me start suppressing ovulation Monday morning. Not a fan of this injection. It’s a slightly thicker needle and when I went to inject it, I couldn’t for some reason. Only the tip penetrated my skin. And it hurt. So now I’m shaking and light-headed. Needless to say I had to have my mom do it for me. I thought today would be easier but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Mom to the rescue again.

If all goes well, I hoping for retrieval to be this Saturday. I also hope that the other follicles catch up to the dominant one which measured 15mm this morning. I’m on daily monitoring until I Trigger.

More later on…

Cycle Day 9 – Injection Time

A couple of days ago, I finished the fertility pills. Tonight is another big night in that I have to give myself a fertility injection. Now in my mind I think this should be easy. But I do wonder if I’ll be able to do it myself or if someone else will have to do me the honor. I’ve watched the video tutorial and it seems straight-forward, but when it’s time to push the needle into the fatty part of my belly…hmmm – we’ll see!

Later that same day…

I got home and was all pumped up to give myself the injection. I watched the online video again just to make sure I was doing it correctly. I get the supplies out and in place, mix the solution into the powder, draw out the correct amount, wipe off a place on my belly and hold the needle in my hand, inches away from my pinched belly area – and I couldn’t do it! My hands were shaking so badly that I couldn’t bring myself to push the needle into my skin.

I cap the needle and go and get a drink and relax on the sofa. I try to calm down while talking to my inner self. I know if anything, it’s just going to feel like a pinch. I know it’s not going to be anything too bad. I also told myself that I would be so mad at myself if I couldn’t do this. I’m 38 yo and I should be able to do this, right?

So I get pumped up again and head back into the bathroom. I loosen the cap on the needle and wipe off that same area on I wiped before to make sure the area is clean. I hold the needle up once again and I hesitate. Finally, I push the needle in and OMG, it didn’t hurt at all! In fact I didn’t feel anything. After I injected the meds in I went to pull the needle out and saw that it was pulling my skin. So I looked up so I wouldn’t watch that and just pulled. I would say that maybe 5-10 mins after the site did burn a little bit, but nothing bad at all.

I was so relieved that I was able to do this myself and didn’t have to rely on someone else to do it for me.

 

Cycle Day 3 – Start Clomid

I made my appointment early in the morning so I wouldn’t miss work. 7:15 to be exact. My alarm went off, the puppy started crying and I knew I couldn’t hit snooze. Did my morning routine and then headed out. As I’m driving I’m realizing that I didn’t need to make it for another location but in my confusion I did. It took me about a half an hour to get to this other location and they saw me right away, despite me being about 20 minutes early.

They drew blood to do a mandatory check to make sure I’m not pregnant. Then I was off to the private room for the ultrasound. My right ovary was hiding so the doctor had to push it around for the ultrasound to show up.

He said all looks good so unofficially he thinks we’ll be able to move forward with this rest of this process. If there had been large cysts, they would have postponed it until the next cycle.

I went home at lunch to let my puppy out and as I was leaving a UPS truck pulled up. I just knew it was for my package. I took it inside, opened it up and put the item that needs to be kept cool in the fridge. I headed back to work.

I received a text from my pharmacy letting me know that the fertility pills (Clomid) are ready for pick-up. On my way home I picked it up and continued home.

Around 8pm I took my first two pills of Clomid so if there were any side effects that I would hopefully sleep through most of them.

This all is getting way to real. I’m anxious, excited, nervous, scared, and hopeful. I think most of my fear is finding out this doesn’t work either. Then what do I do? Go back to the adoption road? But now my savings is almost gone. It’s so hard to know the best path to take but I’m not giving up.

 

Follow-Up with my Doctor

So this is the first big day…I get to hear the results of all my tests and find out what the game plan is going to be.

She tells me that my tests are very typical of a 38 year old. Some blood work numbers were within reason and some were borderline. She also said that I have a low egg reserve which means that I could possibly go into early menopause. But there are no studies to indicate this, it’s just her prediction.

The game plan is to try Intrauterine Insemination (IUI).

She gave me a visual of three different methods of approach:

  1. Casual – This would include fertility pills + trigger shot
  2. Moderate – This would include fertility pills + fertility injection + trigger shot
  3. Aggressive – In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)

She recommended the Moderate method but if I wasn’t comfortable with that, we can do the Casual method. I said let’s go for the Moderate!

What does that mean? Well, I will take fertility pills for five days, which will help produce eggs, then I will give myself a fertility injection, which will also help produce eggs. The trigger shot is done to precisely predict when I will ovulate. Then the insemination!

So the meds have been ordered and should arrive June 25th, 2013. Some have to be refrigerated and the others can remain at room temperature.

My next action item is to call the office when I am on cycle day (CD) 1. This will begin the process.