So far behind…

My last blog talked about my stim day 4 and stim day 6 monitoring appointments. A lot has happened. So I’ll do a quick fill in to catch you up to today.

1/6/15 – Stim day 8 – measured 8 follicles, estrogen 584
1/8/15 – Stim day 10 – still measured 8 follicles, estrogen 1166, this night I had acupuncture
1/9/15 – Stim day 11 – measured 12 follicles, estrogen 1474
1/10/15 – Stim day 12 – still measured 12, estrogen 1671
1/11/15 – Stim day 13 – measured 7 (had a tech in training), estrogen 1980
1/12/15 – Stim day 14 – back to measuring 12 (whew!), estrogen 2197, TRIGGER TIME!
1/13/15 – had acupuncture the night before retrieval
1/14/15 – egg retrieval, retrieved 17 eggs
1/15/15 – status call – out of the 17, 14 were mature, 8 fertilized
1/16/15 – 3 4cell, 1 3cell, 4 2cell
1/17/15 – 1 8cell, 2 7cell, 2 6cell, 2 5cell, 1 3cell
1/19/15 – Day 5 transfer, transfered the best three
Today – 2dp5dt, and the 2ww begins
Beta will be 2/2/15

So that should have everyone up to speed in case anyone out there was wondering what happened….not!

Oh, and I was being very optimistic that I might have at least two to freeze, but on day 6 I got the call that none made it to freeze. So this is it, my last attempt. I pray it works. I’m scared.

My last two monitoring appointments

Monitoring appointments usually occur every two days until you get closer to the trigger and then they will see you daily. Mine started this past Friday. The follicles during this appointment were very small but when I asked the technician how many she counted, there was seven on one side and five on the other. Not bad. This time last cycle they counted 13, but you can’t really go by that. I like to document everything so I can compare.

I had another appointment this morning. This was at a different location and I find that every technican counts them differently. However I had a doctor for this appointment. I’ve had him before. He started measuring them but went too fast for me to see what they measured. I asked him how many he measured and he said he measured five but there were more there. This time last cycle they also measured five.

In comparing my estrogen, this is what I have:

Day 4 stims – last cycle 141, this cycle 110

Day 6 stims – last cycle 369, this cycle 285.

I know each cycle can be different and I’m not really too concerned about it but I just wonder why they are that different. I guess if they are measuring smaller this cycle than last, they would be producing less estrogen. My next appointment is Tuesday so I hope to see a big improvement then.

Dimpled Firefighter

I had narrowed my donor choices down to two. Dimpled Firefighter and Hazel Eyes. I’ve been struggling over this but one of my blog friends who has ADD experience suggested to steer clear of that, to not risk it, especially since I’m single. That’s what I needed to hear. I needed someone who had some insight to basically tell me what to do. Plus I had another friend of mine confirm that same thought. If I had a boyfriend or a husband, I’d probably make him make some of these decisions for me. But since I don’t have that, my friends and blog friends are my “husband”. So thank you!

I ordered one vial today. My last vial I will ever order. It was weird thinking that as I clicked the Submit button. But it’s done. And the weight lifted from my shoulders. Now I can concentrate on thinking positive, imagining my little one, think of myself being pregnant, and doing the best I can to make this happen.

It will happen.

Quick Update

I thought for my donor dilemma that I would make a pros and cons list for each. Well that didn’t quite go as planned. Both have many pros but only one has one con. Option 2, the new option had ADD as child. That’s the only con for him. And to me that’s not a huge deal or at least shouldn’t be. Of course if it was, at least it would make my decision easier.

What I might do is call the donor bank and see if they can shed any light on both of these donors that maybe I don’t see in the online information. Plus they both have “yes” for pregnancies and it would be nice to know how many each have and when they first signed up with the donor bank.

So I’ll let you know if they can help me decide.

On to other news, I had my pre-IVF evaluation appointment this morning. Because it’s a weekend, I can’t go to my regular location, I had to go to another one that is open seven days a week. I’m not fond of going there. The wait is usually longer. I don’t know the nurses or doctors. And today I decided I don’t like their scale. It has to be off because I did not gain that much weight. Blah.

The ultrasound portion of the appointment went well, but so did the last one that ended up being canceled. My lining was nice and thin and she didn’t really count but when I said to take a guess, she said probably about seven follicles. I usually have more but I have to keep reminding myself that I’m only about 16 days into my cycle. My other cycles I’ve been on BCP for about 20 days. This time it was only 14.

I ran some errands before getting home, just to have to wait until the afternoon for the call. Usually they call between 3-4 but they called around 1:30. The nurse said that my bloodwork was good and that I can start!!!! I was like “wait, what?”. She repeated herself and I said okay!

Tuesday morning I begin injections.

AM – 300 gonal-f

PM – 150 gonal-f + 2 vials of menopur (I can’t remember the units)

I return on Jan 2nd for a monitoring appointment and hopefully there will be more to report on.

Chat later…goodnight! 🙂

I need help with my…..Stupid Dilemma

You would think picking a donor would be easy. It’s not. In fact, I think it’s worse because you have access to everything about them, their family medical history, essay questions, their profile, college grades, the list just goes on. When you are dating someone or you’re about to marry someone, you don’t know all that information.

I have to order donor sperm again. The last two IVF’s I used the same donor and his last attempt did result in a pregnancy (but I miscarried). So do I go with the same donor or choose a different one. I’ve had mixed suggestions.

I narrowed down my favorites again and upgraded my subscription so I can see ALL their information. Part of this subscription is seeing childhood photos, usually three of them. So I have two selected. The original one that I’ve been using and a new one.

Option 1 – The original donor (6’4″, tall dark and handsome firefighter with dimples, 206lbs, straight thick hair)

Screen Shot 2014-12-24 at 12.41.42 PM Screen Shot 2014-12-24 at 12.42.16 PM Screen Shot 2014-12-24 at 12.42.26 PM

Option 2 – The new option (6’2″, they say unique hazel eyes, 180lbs, thick wavy hair)

Screen Shot 2014-12-24 at 1.11.54 PM Screen Shot 2014-12-24 at 1.12.04 PM Screen Shot 2014-12-24 at 1.12.14 PM

So I’d love to get your opinion. Comment which option you like and if you want, why. I know most people use their husbands sperm so it might be hard to answer this question but any help is appreciated. I’m single and can’t decide what I want more, dimples or hazel eyes, 6’4″ or 6’2″. This is so stupid, isn’t it? HELP!

Cycle Day 5 Mixed with a Side of Grandma

What a long seven days. This past Friday my menses arrived so I was excited to be able to email me nurse and let her know. But of course I get her “out of office” reply. So I called the front desk and spoke with another nurse. She scheduled my cycle and had me start BCP Saturday. Usually it’s been on day 3 so I verified that she didn’t mean Sunday and she said to start on Saturday.

I will be on BCP for 14 days. Same as the last cycle that got cancelled. So we’ll see. At least this time if they need to keep me on BCP I will be able to do that. So let the fun times begin.

I go in for the pre-IVF evaluation on the 27th. I hope I’ll be able to keep going. The estimated retrieval date would be Jan 10th, but I have a feeling that this will all change based on the Dec 27 appointment.

So in the middle of getting this cycle started, mom and I got some bad news that grandma isn’t doing well. The back story is that she went in to the hospital around Thanksgiving for rapid heart rate. They gave her some meds and she was released after three days. A week or so ago, she wasn’t eating, said her stomach hurt and her chest hurt. An ambulance was called. Mom and I had plans to go down in March-ish but my Aunt called and said that we need to come sooner, like by the end of the year.

Well crap.

I spent all weekend trying to sort through my thoughts on this. My mom and I had a few discussions about it and we couldn’t figure out how to make it work unless I cancelled this cycle. Mom didn’t want me to do that and said neither would grandma. Now about my grandma, she has had Alzheimer’s for about 10 years. She can’t hold a conversation and doesn’t know much of what’s going on. Ticket prices are super high to fly down on the 27th (when my mom can get off work). Should I spend all this money to fly down for a couple of days, to talk to someone who isn’t here much anymore? Sounds terrible, I know. That has been my conflict. Will I regret not going down? My mom can skype and I can talk a bit with her and tell her I love her.

So after the second time grandma was in the hospital, mom decided to call hospice in. The hospice nurse was great and got to my uncle’s the very same day and by the end of that day, she brought a hospital bed, wheelchair, oxygen tanks and some other things. The hospice nurse said that grandma has congenital heart failure, which means she could leave us at any time.

I asked my nurse what other people do when they have family emergencies in the middle of a cycle and she said they cancel. This sucks. But I think mom decided that I don’t go. She wants to drive down so she can bring some stuff they need with her and she can bring some stuff that never made it in the move. She plans to stay two weeks.

Timing stinks.

IF, and I say that with a capital I F, the protocol goes as plans, that will put retrieval on Jan 10, which means the trigger shot will be Jan 8. Mom wasn’t planning on returning until Jan 9th. Let’s hope this all work out or that I figure out a way to twist my body around to give myself the injection.

And on top of all of this, I have to buy my donor goods. I can either go with the one I used the last two times or go with someone new. Oh the stress of all this!

I think that’s about it for now. I’m tired and can’t stay awake much longer. Chat later…

Always Question Things

So remember how I told you that I had emailed my nurse asking her why I should stop birth control pills when I’m only a week away from my period, but then I got her out of office reply? Well the next day (Friday) I got an email first thing in the morning and she said she got to thinking, the night before, about my situation and she thinks it would be best to finish out the BCP.

See? Always question things.

Just because they are nurses or doctors, doesn’t mean they know everything. They deal with many patients and may not be always thinking about the bigger picture. They should be but they may not always be able to do that.

In the two years that I’ve been going through either IUI or IVF, I’ve documented everything. I have a dayplanner where I write down appointments, injection doeses, blood work results….everything. I remember I was beginning a new cycle and she gave me my protocol but when I compared it with the previous one, the time frames didn’t match up, so I questioned it and she thanked me for catching that. I’m not one of those people who just say “okay” and do as the doctor/nurse tells me. If something doesn’t make sense, I question it. If I’m wrong then I’m wrong. I don’t see any harm in asking why.

So I’m finishing out my BCP which should end Wednesday night. I’m not sure how long after I stop my period will begin but I’d imagine a few days.

That’s where I’m at and probably will finish out the year on BCP when I start my next cycle. Stay tuned…

Rising Estrogen….Still

I continued taking birth control pills for three more days like the doctor told me. They were hoping that it would bring my estrogen down from 97 to below 50. I went to my appointment this morning and had my ultrasound done. Lining looked great…again, and the same amount of follicles developing. All good there.

I’m out at lunch when I see that my nurse is calling. She never calls that early and I had to let it go to voicemail. I checked it later and found out that my estrogen went up to 177….WTH! We didn’t see any cysts that could be causing this so I’m confused.

She instructed that I stop BCP, that I’ll have withdrawal bleeding, which won’t count at a real period so not to consider it as cycle day 1. BUT when I emailed her back to ask her some urgent questions, I received her out of office reply.

If my period is back on track then the ETA for it this month would be around Dec 13th, which is next weekend. So why wouldn’t I just continue taking the BCP for another week so my period will come on like normal instead of bringing on bleeding early which I know will make my cycle weird.

  • The reasoning behind my thinking.
  • Last cycle I was on BCP for 20 days.
  • This cycle, up to this day, I’ve been on them for 14 days.
  • Why not take them for six more days which will be 20 days?
  • Then my period will come on like normal.

Doesn’t that make sense?

Doesn’t it? Or am I just overthinking this and I should do what my nurse said?

I hate this. I guess I’ll take tonight’s and hope she emails me tomorrow. 🙂

High Estrogen

Last night was night 11 of my BCP, the amount that this cycle would allow in order for me to do this before the end of the year. Normally the BCP protocol is around 20 days for me. I’m sure it varies by person. Today I had my baseline ultrasound and blood work. The u/s tech said my lining was nice and thin and I have 7 follicles on the right and 5 on the left. That’s two more than the last cycle, at my baseline appointment.


Later I got a call my a nurse (not my nurse) informing me that my estrogen is at 97. They like to have it below 50 before starting. I wasn’t upset only because I was prepared for it. I knew going into this that my levels might not be ready enough for me to proceed.


She said she spoke with my doctor and she said for me to continue taking BCP for another three days and then return on Thursday for more blood work to see if that 97 has come down. I’m not convinced that it will with only three days more of BCP.


Tonight during my acupuncture session, I gave her an update. She did points around hormones and to balance them out or reduce them, not sure which. Either way, she was doing points around the hormones. She still did some belly, ears, and forehead. She also has been keeping a heat lamp on my belly and will do this each time until the egg retrieval. Then the heat lamp moves to my feet.

Now I wait until Thursday. I’ll know then if this IVF cycle will continue or if I wait until next menses cycle. Fingers crossed!

IVF Ball is Rolling Again!

get-the-ball-rollingI’ve missed blogging but I just didn’t have much to say. Dealing with a miscarriage was hard emotionally and physically. I wanted to give up. But I haven’t.

It’s been a bit over two months since I had my D&C. The wait was terrible. Not knowing when AF would arrive is worse than any other “wait” I’ve been through. I mean even the 2ww is better than what this wait was. At least with the 2ww you have that beta scheduled and know a date, but waiting for AF to arrive after a miscarriage seemed like an eternity, not knowing when she would arrive.

Anyway, enough ranting and on with the updates.

  • Because of the holidays, I was told that the IVF labs are closed from Dec 24 to the end of the year. Makes sense!
  • For me to be able to start the process this month and have the ER and ET before the lab closes, AF needed to be here no later than Nov 15th.
  • AF arrived on Nov 17th.
  • Nurse said we could move forward but I would be on BCP for only 11 days (normally I’m on for around 20 days).
  • Nurse warned me that this cycle could be cancelled if my lining isn’t ready.
  • She also acknowledged that some patients don’t even take BCP and some take them for less time, depending on their situation.
  • I said lets go for it! If it gets cancelled, I’ll start again next month.
  • I’m taking BCP through Nov 30th.
  • If all looks okay, I will begin injections on Dec 4th.
  • Estimated ER could be Dec 15; ET could be Dec 20th.

Even though I’ve been doing acupuncture twice a week, I’m still feeling a bit stressed. I keep telling myself to stop it, but my body will do what it will do. I was talking to my mom yesterday about it. As much as I’m thrilled to be starting IVF again, it also terrifies me 10,000 times more than any other cycle because this is my last shot. I don’t get another try. So my body is feeling the pressure even though my mind and heart keep saying it will be okay, no matter what.

Has anyone taken a shortened BCP protocol and gotten pregnant?