I’m Okay With That

I started my second round of IUI this past Sunday, with Sunday being CD1. I went in this morning for my CD3 blood work and ultrasound. I arrived at a bright an early 7am just to find the building door locked. A bunch of us waited to be let in and all ended up going to the same place. I was practically last. I signed in and waited.

I was called back to a room. The technician found a cyst. They said I needed blood work done to check the estrogen levels of the cyst. They drew blood and then I headed off to work.

I received a call from my nurse coordinator and she said my estrogen levels were something like 246, and that we need to skip this cycle and try again next month. I’m okay with that. Of course I’m disappointed but I don’t really have any right to be sad or upset. There are many people who have been on this journey for much longer. And I’d rather skip a month then for them to continue and it not work anyway.

I’m honestly not sure what the estrogen level does for fertility. I asked my nurse coordinator but she was vague. I tried researching it but couldn’t really find it. All I was told was that if my estrogen levels were elevated, and I took the fertility meds, that my E2 levels would be high. Doesn’t tell me anything. Is it bad for the levels to be high? I obviously don’t know how this all works.

So I wait. The upside is I’ve ordered Clomid, Ovidrel and more Progesterone. I’ve ordered additional donor sperm. So…when the cycle is good to go, so am I.

 

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IUI #1 Beta Test – Negative

Just like I suspected, the nurse coordinator called me this afternoon and said that my conclusion was correct. It was a negative. I could be sad and upset but honestly, this was my first one. The most I am is disappointed. I’m not sad or upset at all. I didn’t think it would happen the first time. Sure, I would have loved it if it happened the first time but it didn’t. I think with the first round, I was stressed because it was a new process, stressed giving myself the injections, stressed by reading forums and message boards, stressed when I made the payment, stressed researching every little possible symptom I thought I was having.

So this weekend I begin the second round. This time I plan to be different. I won’t worry about that payment as I’m hopefully going to be approved for a loan. I won’t worry about the injections because now I’ve done it and it was easy. I won’t worry during the two week wait. The things that I will do is stay off the Internet, stay off the forums and message boards, stay busy in a positive way, not count down the days until the beta test. Then on beta day, remain cautiously positive and stay busy.

On to round 2!

Day Before my Pregnancy Blood Test #1

I hate to say it but I’m not pregnant, according to this morning’s home pregnancy test. I took one a few days ago just to see and it was negative. I have my pregnancy blood test (Beta) tomorrow morning so I wanted to be prepared either way for it. It was negative. I’m disappointed but not upset. I was told it most likely won’t happen the first round and that’s what I was anticipating. Of course I was hoping I would be one of the lucky first timers but it just didn’t happen. Tomorrow afternoon I will have confirmation. Once I receive the news I pretty much already know, I plan on moving forward with IUI #2 which is basically repeating everything I did this past round. Not a big deal, except for the money part.

I have a dilemma – a financial one. I have the bills from the testing before I did IUI #1 that I haven’t paid yet. I paid the IUI and the donor sperm from my savings. I have about 3k left in my savings. My dilemma is, should I pay the bills + IUI #2 from my savings leaving me with almost zero, hoping it works – OR – apply for a loan through a program they partner with to pay the outstanding bills + IUI #2, leaving my savings as a cushion?

Let’s say IUI #2 does in fact work and I took out this loan, I would have leftover money left in the loan that would be returned to the loan place. I guess that’s not a bad idea and can’t hurt either way. Then if I have to move to IVF, I would have to take out another loan for that cost. Oy. That won’t be great for my credit report, will it?

Wanting and trying to have a baby is so hard and then to have to do it alone makes it even harder. Insurance doesn’t cover even the office visits or the testing because I’m single, where if I was married it would have been covered. I think even the IVF would be covered if I was married. Can we say, discrimination?

Okay this is really random and weird, but I just went to the ladies room here at work and at the same time, two pregnant women came in!!!! Maybe that is a sign that the second one will work! Silly I know but hey, I can wish right?

Tomorrow I’ll have the official results but wanted to talk about where I’m at today.

Two Week Wait – Half Way Point

I am exactly at my half way point of this two week wait. My appointment is a week from today at 7:15am. I will know the results by the end of that day. I did buy two pregnancy tests but not sure if I will use them. I have mixed feelings about it because if it shows a negative, I will be upset. BUT if it shows a positive, I could be relieved and happy a couple of days before the official results day.

Decisions.

Today is 7dpo. I don’t feel anything yet. I feel bloated but that could be from the progesterone supplements. I feel tired, but that is pretty normal for me. I don’t feel cramps and no spotting. But I have some major gas…(sorry, TMI). No tender breasts or nipples. Nothing.

I’m kind of scared to get the results, whether I do a home pregnancy test or wait until my results day. I know this is only my first IUI, and we don’t know if I have any fertility issues since I’ve never tried to get pregnant, so if it doesn’t take, it could ultimately mean that there is a possibility of having some sort of fertility issue.

 

Two Week Wait

I’m part way through my two week wait (TWW) and the days are slow and my mind is dreaming of what could be. It sounds silly but every little thing I feel in my body I wonder if it’s a pregnancy symptom. I know it’s not. It’s too soon. According to the Internet, my body won’t know about the pregnancy until the egg implants itself to my uterus which takes 6-10 days from time of fertilization. I’m hoping that I feel something by the weekend but I really am trying not to think about it much. How can I not?

When I get home I need to stay busy, either cleaning, crocheting, organizing or writing. During the day my work keeps me busy, but doesn’t mean my mind doesn’t wander. It does.

Did you feel any pregnancy symptoms during your two week wait? If so, what were they and where in that two weeks did you feel them?

 

IUI Day

Was today! And it went well. After they washed the sperm, they said that they are happy to get 5 million but mine was 15 million. And the progression level was around 1 something but after it was washed it jumped up to between 3 and 4. I asked them what the progression level meant and it basically means that the higher the number, the more likely they will be able to find the eggs. So overall the donor sperm I selected seemed to be a good choice. Let’s hope that it works!

I’m a bit crampy but they said that is from the trigger shot. I wonder how long it lasts. It’s not terrible but I can definitely feel it.

Now I wait until July 19th for the pregnancy test.

 

Got the Green Light

I had an appointment this morning to do an ultrasound and blood work to determine if I’m producing enough follicles to proceed with the IUI. She checked my right side and there was one but didn’t meet the size requirements. She then moved to my left side and there were five! Three of them are of the right size. I think originally the doctor said she was hoping for at leave five good ones so it sounds like it might not work this time. But we’ll see.

Tonight I have the trigger shot. This shot will trigger ovulation so they can predict pretty much exactly when to perform the insemination. I scheduled the IUI for Friday, July 5th, 2013.