I’m still here…

I’m still here ya’ll, I promise! So much is going on that I can’t seem to keep it all straight and get into a solid routine, but it’s getting better. Some highlights on my life since my last blog.

  1. My little boy is 6m old! OMG, right? He is the most amazing little human being I could have ever wished for, and believe me, I wished HARD for him. It’s been quite a ride and lots of learning, learning about him, about having a baby, and about what I’m capable of handling.
  2. My passion for being healthy. Now I don’t eat the best, not all the time, but I don’t eat a ton of food to begin with. I’m a very picky eater so really far from being a foodie. But just because I’m not overweight (still have some baby weight to get rid of) it doesn’t mean I couldn’t be healthier. So I’ve joined a company called Plexus. It has an amazing opportunity to better my finances and give me time freedom to enjoy my son.
  3. Getting my house organized. Boy this one is a challenge. Trying to find time between a baby and Plexus can be rough but I’m slowing getting through it. My craft room is the worse and I’ll tackle that last. Lots of donating things or throwing things out lately. Plus the baby things take up a lot of space so I’m minimizing my material items.
  4. On the healthy path, I’ll be growing my own vegetables on my deck this year. Yippie! Well we’ll see how that goes. I’m not good with keeping plants alive on my deck because of how hot it gets. But I will give it a try.
  5. My deck project this summer is about to begin. I got three quotes from contractors and they all want roughly around 6-7k. Most of that is the labor. So I did research (because that’s what I do) and watched some videos on how to remove the floor boards myself. My deck’s structure is still good, but the boards are terrible, and with a soon to be crawling/walking baby, I need to make that safe. So my plan is to do it myself. Remove the old boards and put down new ones! I’ll post about it once it’s done.
  6. Writing a book! So many people hear my motherhood journey story and say I should write a book. So I’m going to do just that. If I can inspire and help others, then that’s what I want to do. I’m an open book and don’t mind sharing it with everyone.
  7. Back to reading. I’m reading The Walking Dead comics to catch up and pass what the show is doing. And I’ve bought some books on marketing business on social media and baby led weaning, so I have them on my list as well.
  8. Establishing an exercise routine. I’ve tried the gym and I’ve tried classes, but now with my son, I need something a bit more convenient and close to home. So I’m doing kettlebell routines, Zumba, and other weight training. I want a better body than I had before I got pregnant. Plus, soon I’ll need the body and energy to keep up with this little boy.

Grandma’s Angels

The past couple of days have been rough for grandma. Mom said she’s been halluncinating again. She is seeing people in her room. She even told my mom to tell them to get out. We’re wondering if they are angels waiting to take grandma. In a way it’s a nice thought. At least for me. I believe in angels and spirits. Some people don’t, and that’s okay. I still do.

I suggested to my mom that maybe she needs to talk to grandma and tell her that if she sees pappy or anyone else she knows, that it’s okay for her to go with them. That my mom knows that she is tired and sick and not to worry about the family. That the family wants her to be with her husband and sister again. My mom said she would tell her this but I’m not sure she will. It would be hard.

It’s fun to hear stories she tells us of things that must have happened a long time ago but she tells it like it just happened. This isn’t a good quality of life at all. She moans all night. Mom is sleeping in the room with grandma and hears her moaning all night. She also calls for Rudy. At first mom thought she was calling Rudy John, who is my mom’s brother (my uncle) but my aunt think grandma is calling for her husband Rudy (well is birth name is Rudolph, but everyone called him Rudy). See, she wants to be with him. It’s so sweet.

Oh, and on Christmas morning, my mom Skyped me in so I could be there for gift opening. We eventually went in to grandma’s room so I could be there while she opened my gift. I made grandma a photo book, all of family pictures. I put their names next to each photo in case she couldn’t remember who they were. My mom went page by page and read off each person. She turned the page and I had a large picture of grandma and pappy. Her face lit up and she said “oh look at him, isn’t he so handsome?”. It was wonderful seeing that. She may never look at that book again but seeing her face light up was priceless and something I will never forget.

Never.

Christmas on the Eve of Christmas Eve

You just never know what a day will bring. Mom went to work her half day today and then she would be off until Friday. I got up and thought about running some errands but saw how nasty it was outside and decided to stay in. It was around 10:30 and my mom called. Her voice was soft and I realized she was crying. I thought the worst. Grandma passed. But it wasn’t quite that. The hospice nurse taking care of Grandma said she isn’t sure she will make it to the week’s end. She wasn’t opening her eyes. Mom said she was finalizing a couple of things at work and then she was coming home.

She was originally going to leave on Sunday and drive down. She was going to take two weeks and stop and see some friends on the way down and the way back up. She had plans to drop off her art to a galary she is in, among other plans she had to spend time with the family.

I suggested to her that she should fly. She cried and said she hates to fly. She’s too fat to fit in the seats and she’s always so uncomfortable flying. It’s hard for her to walk the insane length of an airport. She wouldn’t stop crying.

She couldn’t get away from her original plans. I told her that if she flies, she would be spending Christmas with the family and it’s been a few years since she’s done that. She was frozen, not able to put a thought together. I asked her out of all her friends, who is a good voice of reason. So she called her. They finally spoke about an hour later and her friend put it in to great perspective for my mom. She asked my mom, what is the main purpose of this trip? Right then my mom knew the right thing to do was to fly.

We looked at flights and got her on a 6am flight tomorrow (Christmas Eve). It always amazes me the flight patterns. She has one stop in Detroit, MI, before heading to Houston. Cracks me up. Let’s go north before we go south.

Hearing the news from my mom that grandma has taken a sudden turn for the worse…I cried. I’m sad I won’t be there to see her. I’m sad my mom has to travel alone. I’m sad. So I cried a bit today.

We ran a few errands to get some last minutes gifts that she had planned on getting this week before she drove down but the timeline pushed everything up. We had lunch out and then came home to get her ready. She finished up laundry, packed her bag, wrapped those last minute gifts, colored her hair, and for me the most important thing was getting Skype up and working. That will be my only connection to grandma and the family this week. I hope we can get it to work okay.

We decided to have our Christmas tonight. Her man, Dennis came over and brought Chinese food and we all exchanged gifts. It was nice. To me Christmas isn’t about the actual day but being with family and my mom is all I have right now.

She’s sad that I will be alone on Christmas. I am too. I miss my family and already miss my mom and she hasn’t left yet. I wish I had more family here or even had my own family. I’m tired of being alone and don’t ever see it changing. But I always hope it does. At least I wouldn’t be alone for holidays.

Oh well. I know I’ll be okay, but it doesn’t make the moments any easier.

Last Week Was Quite a Week

My mom and I planned a trip back to Houston to pack up the rest of her belongings that have been in storage for the last two years and drive them back up. Our trip lasted a week and it was a good and bad week.

I dropped off Sadie the night before at a friend’s house who is in the pet business – Comfort Family Pets –  so the next morning I wouldn’t be running around trying to get her dropped off while trying to make it in time for the flight. Needless to say we got to the airport all nice and early since my mom has knee issues, we wanted to make sure she could walk it okay. We found a diner and had some breakfast – expensive mind you – but we needed to eat something. We headed down to the gate and waited for boarding. About 10 minutes into the time we should have been boarding, they changed our gate to the other end. Everyone hauled butt to make it. I kept checking back to see where my mom was but she finally told me to just go ahead and make sure we get good seats. I was close enough to the new gate to do that. We finally boarded and planted ourselves in the front row. We sat next to a really nice lady who was going to visit her daughter and hasn’t been on a plane in many years. The flight was turbulent the entire time but that didn’t bother me one bit. In fact, it practically put me into a nice deep rest – yep, can’t sleep on planes anymore. We arrived in Houston an hour later than planned. It took what seemed to be another hour for baggage to start coming out. We grabbed our bags and headed over to the rental car counter. No one was there. Here we had to haul our luggage on a bus so they could take us to the rental car lot. We made it and got a decent car – in red!

We arrived at the family’s house and got settled in. The family was holding a shrimp boil/cookout event at their neighborhood pool so we ended up joining them for some food and conversation. I ended up leaving early to go meet a friend of mine. We finally met up and had coffee and dessert and got to catch up on our lives for the past couple of years. It was so great to see him. He’s such an awesome friend.

We headed over to the storage unit to get an idea of what we had to deal with, as well as checking out the house to see where other items were placed inside and stored in the garage. The family was awesome in holding on to all my mom’s things and were wonderful in helping us load up the truck – well with everything really. For Mother’s Day, we all went out to Los Generales to celebrate mother’s and it was also James birthday.

485432_10200623083072818_1360148251_n 264514_10200623076672658_1246138657_nWe rented a uhaul truck and headed to the storage unit to begin our sorting. We had anticipated it taking us the entire three days to sort through everything but we were able to load up the truck with things to take with us and load up the family trailer with items to donate or sell in one day. Yay! But we went back to the house and crashed for a bit.

Mom wanted to go and visit the art gallery where she has her baskets and paintings. It was about 1.5 hour drive each way but it was a nice day to drive and relax after a hard day of labor. The gallery – Copper Shade Tree – had moved to a different building in the same square. We walked in and OMG, it was gorgeous. Mom wanted me to take pictures of all her pieces so she had a current inventory of what was still there. We ended up getting a gorgeous metal wind art – but I’ll talk about that and post pictures once I get it in the ground. It’s so cool! Oh and I spoke with the gallery owner and showed him my floor art and he is interested in trying them out in the gallery. So wish me luck on having some things in my first gallery.

We pulled some boxes out of the uhaul for mom to go through them. There were a few items in the house that we needed to make room for in the truck. The whole day it rained off and on. One of my mom’s friends came by to help and I was so happy she did. I needed a break. I was getting frustrated due to being tired.

That night we went out for Margarita’s and for some reason they didn’t like me. Later we got home and hung out outside and I broke the ice nicely with some things mom and I wanted to talk about with the family. Not the best way to do it but it was the last night after-all and it just came out. We cleared up a few things at least…lol

Next day I woke up at 4am wondering where my phone was. I must have crashed in my cot with my clothes on and went to check my phone for the time and realized my purse wasn’t there. I woke my mom up and she ended up going downstairs and getting it. In the meantime, the family has this adorable dog, Sunshine, and she likes to bark whenever we enter a room, so my mom ended up waking the house looking for my purse. What a great mom! We were supposed to get up around 5am to leave by 6am. Didn’t quite work out but we did get on the road at 7am – so not too bad!

264467_10200623082072793_1109300858_nWe drove that day for about 14 hours and was on the road for 15. Yikes! We did make one stop through New Orleans to go to Villalobos Rescue Center  for the show Pit Bulls and Parolees. Tia was busy with shooting an episode so we took the tour and our guide was Earl – from the show! He was so cool and nice. I got a picture with him and the other staff there that day. Earl told us the name and story of each dog on site, which was very awesome. There were two I wanted to adopt but they wouldn’t fit in the uhaul with us. 😦 The merchandise store was closed but they had some t-shirts hanging outside to see. They also had free photo cards of their crew for us to take.

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We made it to Ft. Payne, AL and found a hotel there. It didn’t take long for us to crash. For me it was nice because all week I was sleeping on a camping cot – and I’m too old for that. The bed was so nice. We got up around 5:30am the next morning for day 2 of our travel back home. We drove for about 10-11 hours and finally made it to our home state. We drove by to pick up Sadie and headed home. It was so great to be home and be with my dog and cat again. I missed them so much and wish I got to see pictures of them every day while gone, but that didn’t happen. Got home and unloaded the cab part of the truck and realized I left my phone where I picked up the dog. Went back and it was gone – someone stole it. 😦

Saturday woke up somewhat early and backed the uhaul into the driveway to unload a few items – one being my Chifforobe. The guy my mom hired to help us unload couldn’t make it so it was just us. I unloaded the truck – with no dolly – and brought them to the top of mom’s stairs. She took them the rest of the way down. I was hurtin so badly. The boxes were so big and some were so heavy that I couldn’t manage them and they would hit my thigh and slide down causing many bruises along the way. But we did it. The Chifforobe, I went across the street to ask a neighbor who was out cutting his grass to see if he’d mind helping us lift it out of the truck. This was our first introductions and felt bad to introduce myself this way but we needed help. Thanks to everyone who helped and shame on you for those who didn’t! I’m too old for this stuff…lol. Next time we’re hiring professionals who won’t let us down.

After we returned the truck I dropped off my mom at the house and went up to the phone store to see about getting another phone. I didn’t have insurance on it because all these years I’ve never lost a phone nor had one stolen. The one I had been watching wasn’t due out until that next Thursday so I pre-ordered it but for a few days I had no phone. It wasn’t a huge deal and I survived. Just sucked about the phone. Nice way to end a trip!

Sunday I rested, did some laundry, put my things away from the trip and caught up on TV. I also got to go through and catch up on the many many emails I had. Some great, some not so much. The bottom line is that we are done with the trip, I got a brand new phone, and have some great things in store for the next couple of months.

As always, it was great to see family and we look forward to the next trip where we have more time to do some fun things.

Holiday Traditions?

holiday-Traditions-picEvery family has some sort of traditional activities they do around the holidays. My cousin is amazing at coming up with things to do as a family during the holidays. I’ve recently started writing them down so I can use them one day for when I have my family.

I’ll go first. One of the yearly traditions is that she has this huge tree in her family room and this game involves trying to find the item that doesn’t belong on the tree. She always says we can’t team up but we always do. I don’t think I’ve ever won the prize. Not all of her activities are done yearly…she’s very creative.

What are some of your favorites?

Never Forget

Wedding Day in April 1997

Fifteen years ago yesterday my best friend, my husband, and the love of my life lost his battle with cancer. It’s crazy that it’s been so long yet it still feels like yesterday.

He will always be in my heart and in my thoughts. I’ve never found a love like his again and probably never will.

Cherish those you love and make sure you always tell them and show them how much they mean to you. You never know when it will be your last time.

I love you. I miss you.