The past couple of days have been rough for grandma. Mom said she’s been halluncinating again. She is seeing people in her room. She even told my mom to tell them to get out. We’re wondering if they are angels waiting to take grandma. In a way it’s a nice thought. At least for me. I believe in angels and spirits. Some people don’t, and that’s okay. I still do.

I suggested to my mom that maybe she needs to talk to grandma and tell her that if she sees pappy or anyone else she knows, that it’s okay for her to go with them. That my mom knows that she is tired and sick and not to worry about the family. That the family wants her to be with her husband and sister again. My mom said she would tell her this but I’m not sure she will. It would be hard.

It’s fun to hear stories she tells us of things that must have happened a long time ago but she tells it like it just happened. This isn’t a good quality of life at all. She moans all night. Mom is sleeping in the room with grandma and hears her moaning all night. She also calls for Rudy. At first mom thought she was calling Rudy John, who is my mom’s brother (my uncle) but my aunt think grandma is calling for her husband Rudy (well is birth name is Rudolph, but everyone called him Rudy). See, she wants to be with him. It’s so sweet.

Oh, and on Christmas morning, my mom Skyped me in so I could be there for gift opening. We eventually went in to grandma’s room so I could be there while she opened my gift. I made grandma a photo book, all of family pictures. I put their names next to each photo in case she couldn’t remember who they were. My mom went page by page and read off each person. She turned the page and I had a large picture of grandma and pappy. Her face lit up and she said “oh look at him, isn’t he so handsome?”. It was wonderful seeing that. She may never look at that book again but seeing her face light up was priceless and something I will never forget.

Never.

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