I’m a tad behind in posting this but last Thursday was my transfer day. I had three early blastocysts so they decided to put them all in hoping one sticks. Of course I was extremely nervous that all three would take but then I remind myself that that would probably NEVER happen – it’s not like I’m in my 20s with no issues.
I had thoughts of being very productive while taking it easy the last three days but for some reason I wasn’t. I wanted to finish scanning my photos, organize my jewelry making storage cart, get some Etsy done and figure out how to use Hootsuite, wrap some more scarf balls, maybe paint another floorcloth, see where I’m going with this? I had plans. The only things I got done were I logged into Hootsuite and renewed my Etsy items. The rest of the time I laid around watching TV/movies.
I felt lost. Sad. The 2WW is horrible. I keep thinking that it should take 2-3 days for implantation and so many women can feel when that happens. I know others don’t feel it but I kept trying to figure out if I was feeling anything. I had a couple of cramps, pinches, but nothing that I think is implantation. So I became sad. Sad that this one didn’t work either. Sad that I had nothing and no one to keep my mind off of this horrible hell of a two week wait.
There are other women in the same cycle group that I’m in on Fertilethoughts.com and they are all getting geared up to start peeing on a stick. I did just about every day during the last IVFs two week wait, but I’m so scared to see that negative this time. Some reason this cycle is so much harder. Maybe I’m scared that I only have one more try left. Maybe part of me is trying to come to terms that I may never be a mother. I’m sure I’ll buy some and start some time this week but the fear is still there. I’ve never wanted to much in my entire life.
So today is 3dp5dt (three days past five day transfer) which means that it’s still too early to start testing.
No symptoms to report really.
I hope tomorrow is a better day.