Seventeen years ago, I had to put my cat down due to some medical complications. Three days later I went and bought a kitten and named him Sebastian. He was six weeks old. He was mostly white with bright blue eyes. As he grew, some color started to develop. The vet later told me he was an American Siamese – flame tip. His ears and tail started turning a bit red/orange.
Today he is 17, as of March 2014. For the last few years he’s been sick. He was diagnosed with kidney disease and hyperthyroidism. We, the vet and I, tried many different things. Everything made him feel worse. I eventually stopped all treatment and wanted to let him live out the rest of his life with a better quality than when he was on medications that made him sick and his fur fall out or have him eat foods that he would constantly throw right back up.
The last few days I’ve noticed he isn’t eating much anymore. He eats a little but not much. Last time I weighed him, he was just under 10lbs. Back in the healthy days he was around 22-24lbs. He’s restless, he twitches, he talks a lot, pees a ton, drinks even more, and his eyes are sunken in. I look at him now and can’t believe how he looks. When you go to pet him it’s like petting a skeleton, as he has no muscle or meat on him anymore.
So we cuddled last night and he was purring away. I thought wouldn’t it be so much nicer if I can be with him, getting him to purr, while they put him to sleep? Wouldn’t it be nice for him to be somewhat happy as his last thought? My fear is that I will come home from work one day to find out he died alone. He deserves more, right?
But just the thought of doing this makes me cry…like while I’m writing this, tears are running down my face. How do I bring myself to do this?