Day Before my Pregnancy Blood Test #1

I hate to say it but I’m not pregnant, according to this morning’s home pregnancy test. I took one a few days ago just to see and it was negative. I have my pregnancy blood test (Beta) tomorrow morning so I wanted to be prepared either way for it. It was negative. I’m disappointed but not upset. I was told it most likely won’t happen the first round and that’s what I was anticipating. Of course I was hoping I would be one of the lucky first timers but it just didn’t happen. Tomorrow afternoon I will have confirmation. Once I receive the news I pretty much already know, I plan on moving forward with IUI #2 which is basically repeating everything I did this past round. Not a big deal, except for the money part.

I have a dilemma – a financial one. I have the bills from the testing before I did IUI #1 that I haven’t paid yet. I paid the IUI and the donor sperm from my savings. I have about 3k left in my savings. My dilemma is, should I pay the bills + IUI #2 from my savings leaving me with almost zero, hoping it works – OR – apply for a loan through a program they partner with to pay the outstanding bills + IUI #2, leaving my savings as a cushion?

Let’s say IUI #2 does in fact work and I took out this loan, I would have leftover money left in the loan that would be returned to the loan place. I guess that’s not a bad idea and can’t hurt either way. Then if I have to move to IVF, I would have to take out another loan for that cost. Oy. That won’t be great for my credit report, will it?

Wanting and trying to have a baby is so hard and then to have to do it alone makes it even harder. Insurance doesn’t cover even the office visits or the testing because I’m single, where if I was married it would have been covered. I think even the IVF would be covered if I was married. Can we say, discrimination?

Okay this is really random and weird, but I just went to the ladies room here at work and at the same time, two pregnant women came in!!!! Maybe that is a sign that the second one will work! Silly I know but hey, I can wish right?

Tomorrow I’ll have the official results but wanted to talk about where I’m at today.

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