My Life in Words

I’ve started writing my autobiography for the adoption agency. I didn’t get far though. If someone were to ask you to write about your life using a guideline of questions, your first thought might be…oh that will be easy. Well it’s not. Not for me.

Once I sit down in front of the laptop and try to write, it’s amazing how quickly a draw a blank. I look at these questions and can’t figure out what to write. For example, “Based on each place you’ve lived, describe what kind of neighborhood and types of friendships you had in that location or in your school that were rewarding or disappointing” Really??? I don’t remember where I lived five years ago and they want me to remember where I lived when I was five years old and what the neighborhood was like and the kinds of friendships I had?

Should I just summarize the fact that I don’t recall names of friends or what my neighborhood was like if I can’t remember?

I look ahead at the upcoming questions there is a whole section on religion. Great.

When I was younger my mom and I went to church every Sunday. I can’t even remember what age I was when we stopped going, but I haven’t been since. I think part of it was my anger at God for taking Rob away. Sounds stupid and silly I know, but at that time that was a big part of my thoughts. I don’t have that anger today, but I haven’t found my way back to the church. I still have my beliefs and my moral compass is in tack. Does it make me a bad person for not going? Will I be a bad mother because I’ve been out of touch with God and the church?

I feel like by them devoting an entire section to religion that it could be a key factor in this adoption. Since Rob died, I’ve always said that when I do have children I plan on raising them up with beliefs, which involves me taking them to church. I don’t have a problem with that as I want my child to have that experience and knowledge of the Bible. So in my autobiography, should I say exactly that?

Part of me fears that I will put something in this autobiography which will sway them in the wrong direction ending with me not being approved to adopt a child.

Anyone have any experience with that or advice?

4 thoughts on “My Life in Words

  1. We do not attend church, nor do I really believe in God. I was very honest about that in my autobiography and so was my husband. We did not indicate in any way that we would raise our children in the church. Our social worker didn’t bat an eye. It wasn’t even a topic of discussion when we met with her to review our stories. Unless you are using a Christian adoption agency, I wouldn’t think it would be a problem. Ironically, since the kids came home, we’ve actually taken them to church quite a bit because that is the only place that Ethiopians gather in our community. Go figure…

    As for the rest of your answers, I probably over thought this whole exercise. It was basically just a springboard for our social worker to ask us more about ourselves. My husband didn’t take it as seriously. One of the questions was “What do you have to offer a child?” His answer? “Gum.” Really. He wrote that. Yet, we were still approved. Hope that takes some of the stress off of you.

    • The home study which, like you said, uses the autobiography to guide the discussions and questions. The agency doing my home study is Catholic, however you don’t have to be Catholic to use their services. During the info session, they had a guest family come in and speak and the wife mentioned that this agency didn’t hold it against them that they were Jewish. The agencies goal is to make sure you and the home are ready for a child, which is nice to hear them say that. But I still worry if they will see the lack of religion currently in my life as a negative.

      I feel like I am writing a paper for college wondering what kinds of marks it will get, knowing it will be used for the home study. But knowing that isn’t making writing it any easier.

      That’s funny that your husband said “gum” for that question. Perhaps honesty is the best policy?

  2. I think you should tell them how you really feel about things just as you do on the blog. You don’t want to get your child under false pretenses or feel that you are living a lie. Just be who you are. If they are the right agency, they will like who you are.

    • That is true, I wouldn’t want to lie, of course. I will just be honest and myself and hope they see that I will provide a loving home for a child.

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